Fred & The Fairies: Story 3

There once was a man, and his name was Fred. There came an unfortunate day when the postman arrived at his doorstep. He carried with him a large package with Fred’s name on it. It was a bomb. “Get it off my hands man!” exclaimed the postman, white as a sheep. “Oh goodie, I have been waiting for this all day.” Fred really liked having bombs. You see, Fred worked as a ground field agent for fairies. Fred needs the C4 in order to blow up the white house. The fairies thought it best to make an explosion in order to crack the key spots in the foundation. You have to understand that the fairies do not like the president. His great great great great uncle had killed their king many years ago. Needless to say, they weren’t thrilled. For years they plotted their revenge, but unfortunately human time and fairy time works differently. Every year in fairy land is seven in human time. This means it takes the fairies a long time to get anything done, however, their time had come. “mwuahahahaha! I shall have his head!” And so they recruited Fred for extreme purposes. See if a fairy came to your store asking for some thing, you would follow them to the end, even death. Usually people wouldn’t see them, them being so ridiculously tall, thin and wispy. But Fred, Fred was different. Seeing that Fred had studied them all his life, he knew all their secrets. “We couldn’t kill a great hunk of meat like that” they said. “We shall join him, since we cannot beat him.” So they blew up Fred with their own C4: the fairies like to blow stuff up. They inserted a monitoring gizmo in his brain before putting him back together again. Now he was under their full control, but before this happened he sent a message to the president telling of this plan, so he hacked their software and gained access to them. Thankfully the fairies got abducted by aliens and all was right with the world. Thanks Fred.