When Bill was a very young boy, at the age of four, he decided to hijack a communist ship just south of Chernobyl with a toothbrush. Armed with his toothbrush he sneakily sneaked up to Chernobyl but was stopped by an armed guard. As it turned out, the armed guard was armed with a banana. “GRRRR!” They both said, then broke off in mid-growl, blinking at each other in dumb-founded shock. This continued for several years. In that time, Bill grew up, long and lanky, his crowning beauty being pristine teeth. With his teeth, he managed to befriend a goat named Martha. It was so cold up there, no crops grew, but luckily with Martha’s help they lured the rest of the goat family into a primitive trap often enough to kill and cook for supper, obviously Martha had no issue with the genocide of goats. Meanwhile the guard ate Martha. Bill decided his career outlook south of Chernobyl was dismally bleak. Along came a butterfly with a winter coat named Bailey. She landed on Bill’s shoulder. “I’m your fairy godmother with college plans for you!” She chirped. She told him never to study again. Bill took the advice.
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